Last Post Game

You typed " I thought I'd gone deaf " my voice translator said Gone Daft " , is Irish similar to English :lol:

The jokes are as follows:-

My friend in Glasgow told me he went to the Job Centre and one ad caught his eye. It was for a Fanny Waxers Assistant. The job description listed " washing of ladies private parts, hair trimming prior to waxing ..... ". He went in to apply for the Job and the assistant told him he must go to Dover. My friend asked " why is that where the Job is ? " no said the assistant that is the end of the Queue "

A lady gets into a Cab in London and says Waterloo Please. The cabby asks ' The Station ' well replies the Lady I am a bit Fuc*ing late for the Battle.

Boy you are one tough audience ! I guess I will have to bring out the Big Ones, the Rolls Royce's of my repertoire. These I only tell when I am getting paid Top Dollar ( Pounds are Shit, thank you Brexit ).

1. Where does an 800 pound Gorilla sleep ? Anywhere it bloody wants to !
2. I asked the Pope if anywhere in the world there were 3 foot tall Nuns. He replied NO so I said then I guess I Fuc*ed a Penguin.
3. Why do the Elephants have Big Ears ? Noddy would not pay the Ransom.

So now that you are overcome with Mirth, when your underpants dry I expect to see a Royalty Cheque in my mail.

Some people do not recognise Talent and Good Fresh Material even when it stares them in the face.

Maybe you will like this one:-

There was a knock on our front door when I was 8 years old. My brother who was 6 years old answered it. It was the Salvation Army who said they were collecting for the Old Age Home. My brother gave them Our Granddad.

A guy rushes up to the pub bar and says " A double Scotch fast " he swallows it in one gulp and demands another which he also swallows in one gulp. Give me another double he demands, the barman says why the hurry, the guy replies my first blow job. Oh the barman says so you are Celebrating ? no says the guy I am trying to get the taste out of my mouth !

Without getting all ' ism ' is the collective noun for a group of Irishmen " A Thicket " ?

So ! OK no more Irish jokes I take it.

Van der Merwe ( Van ) applies for a job as a Blacksmith. At the interview he is asked if he had ever Shoe'd a horse before. No says Van but I once told a Donkey to Fu*k Off.

Nope

No matter who gets to post the last post. The first post is by me, so I consider that a half-victory