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Post by Oomtom on Aug 25, 2018 10:43:23 GMT
Another classic worthy of my Monster Book of Jest. How about this for a quick wit. My Wife has gone over to England leaving me on my own  I asked her to take the Cat with her and she replied " I can't her Pussport has ran out ". Also I just went to get my Anti Fall over Pills from the chemist and queued for the lady to assist me. The electronic Q controller told me Teller 2 so when I got there I simply said TWO and she looked at me as if I was Daft  |
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Post by Red Or Dead on Aug 26, 2018 9:00:54 GMT
Oh dear..  |
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Post by Oomtom on Aug 26, 2018 12:00:48 GMT
I call my Wife Dear because she costs me a lot
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Post by Red Or Dead on Aug 28, 2018 12:44:44 GMT
I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn't bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
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Post by Oomtom on Aug 28, 2018 15:08:36 GMT
An old lady asked me to help her check her Balance at the ATM so I pushed her over
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Post by Red Or Dead on Aug 29, 2018 11:26:24 GMT
I saw a poor old lady slip and fall today, I knew she was poor cos I only got £1.26 from her purse.
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Post by Oomtom on Aug 29, 2018 15:12:02 GMT
I saw an Obese old lady in a short dress slip on a wet pavement and we had to slide her over a Grill to get her up
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Post by Red Or Dead on Aug 30, 2018 10:32:24 GMT
“I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.'”
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Post by Oomtom on Aug 30, 2018 15:07:01 GMT
That story sounds a bit Fishy
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Post by Red Or Dead on Aug 31, 2018 8:07:22 GMT
How very droll...  |
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Post by Oomtom on Aug 31, 2018 12:31:56 GMT
By droll you obviously mean a Classic, but I prefer a DD Roll myself  |
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Post by Red Or Dead on Sept 1, 2018 9:10:38 GMT
Now that sounds a bit fishy
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Post by Oomtom on Sept 1, 2018 10:21:04 GMT
We marsupials, the MASTER Race do not eat Fish but we have been known to tackle a dish of mushy peas
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Post by Red Or Dead on Sept 1, 2018 10:57:01 GMT
Stop trying to say that's where the green tongues come from.
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Post by Oomtom on Sept 1, 2018 18:35:32 GMT
Green Tongues are for those who speak with Envy and Jealousy
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